5 Tips for Poise + Perspective in the Planning Process
Call it a season of opposites. While weddings are incredibly sacred, joyful occasions, they're also prime tipping points for heightened emotions. Family tensions. Financial considerations. Major life changes. Even the most darling and kind of creatures can morph—near overnight—into a scattered, mess of stress. Things that seemed inconsequential before (shades of white, napkin folds, favorite florals) somehow become monumentally—almost impossibly—important.
As we head into engagement season, I've put together a quick list of 5 Tips for Poise and Perspective in the Planning Process. Want to Grace Kelly your way through this and maintain your inner balance? Now you can.
1. Morning Power Hour
This is a season of your life that can become all consuming if you let it. For some, once that little sparkly ring slips on its white dresses 24/7. In the morning, you find yourself drafting your guest list in the shower. On your commute, you're selecting garnishes for cocktails. At the office, you're reworking your budget, penciling in line items for passed apps and pressed aprons.
You're in it. Possibly, too in it. And when you're too in it, a couple of things happen:
1. You second guess everything and tend to make mediocre choices.
2. You lose sight of what this wedding experience is really all about.
When you find yourself shoulder deep in planning chaos, simplify. Instead of letting wedding checklists consume your day, create a morning power hour for planning. Get up early, pour that coffee, and spend 60 minutes tackling your to-do's. That will allow you to start your day with a sense of accomplishment, while also giving you the space to let the other areas of your life thrive. If nothing else, your fiancé will be mighty grateful.
Go for a run. Swim laps. Do yoga. And do it often. While you want to look your best at your wedding, this has nothing to do with shaping your thighs. Getting your body moving is a great path to clarity. It will allow you to be more centered in the planning process, helping you make clear choices and prioritize what has lasting value vs what's of fleeting import.
3. Get Granular
Everyone operates differently, but I often find most people get overwhelmed by higher level, big picture tasks. While these larger goals are great markers, they don't do a lot in the way of providing direction or actionable steps. Tasks like "Book a Venue" sound so simple and easy, but then you start poking around and realize there are literally thousands of options. You get bogged down by the sheer amount of possibilities. If this is happening and the planning process is stalling (super understandable), go granular. Create smaller, manageable tasks that give you a sense of accomplishment and keep you heading down the right track.
4. Hire Professionals You Trust
In most areas of our life, humans learn to delegate. The toilet breaks, you hire a plumber. Need a package mailed? You go to the post office. Yet somehow when it comes to weddings, people forget the principle of delegation. Brides become overnight experts; they try to do everything. They want to pick the flowers, design the cake, set the table, cook the chicken, and mix the drinks. They become that person we all adore: the micro-manager.
I believe in the importance of details and vision more than most, but the brides I've found who are happiest with their weddings, as well as happiest in the process, are those who hire professionals they trust. Share the vision you have for your day, and then let your vendors take that and augment it. Work with experts to create the best experience. You'll end up with a more beautiful day and a far less beastly process.
5. Think Future
The wedding is exciting. Absolutely. But do you know what's more exciting? What comes after. Instead of spending all your time focused on one night, take some of that energy and direct it toward what you want your first year of marriage to look like. Plan trips, put thought into your home, set goals. I find that future-casting is so helpful because it does a tremendous job of putting things in perspective. It gives you the grace to stay calm and poised when things don't go as planned (because, let's be honest, they won't). The details, while special, are just details. Your marriage is the real deal.
Visuals by M.K. Sadler